Who are your friends? How do they treat you? How do they treat others? What's important to them? What's important to you?
You know you've got good friends if they treat others the way they want to be treated. If they make you feel good when you're with them, that's another good sign. If you're comfortable and can be yourself when you're with them, that's another good sign.
But if they try to convince you to do things you don't want to do, or things that hurt other people, then you'll know you're with the wrong bunch.
"But everybody does it!" Yeah, so? Don't listen to anyone that says that. Trust yourself. Do you think it's right? Is it something you'd enjoy or are you just going along with them?" Be a leader, not a follower.
Peer pressure is hard to resist for people that don't feel good about themsleves and who don't have a strong feeling of confidence in themselves. They look to others to prove that they are important. Those people don't know that confidence comes from faith in themselves.
You don't need to be like everybody else. Humans haven't been cloned yet. Don't be the first. Be unique. Be different.
Dad is Different
I've never paid much attention to what other people think. I've never thought that I should be like other people. Just the opposite. I've always thought that other people should be more like me. This of course has caused problems. I think that since my thoughts are important, other people should be aware of them. Even during the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," I made sure that the audience knew that I thought the flying characters were silly. If they knew, how I felt, I thought they would feel the same way.
Last week (March 19, 2009) I was riding the Metro. The train was packed because a previous train had been taken out of service. In fact, it got so packedthe operator couldn't close the doors in the third car. So what did he do? He told everyone to get off the train. This made no sense. In fact, it would make everything worse. All the trains behind us were fully loaded, because of the previous service disruption. None of these people would be able to get on any trains for some time. And where was this train going? It couldn't go backwards. They couldn't park it off the tracks, it was rush hour. It was going forwards -- where I wanted to go. The service stations are at each end of the line. It might go through every station without stopping, but I was willing to take that risk. I could stop the train by pretending I was asleep and calling the driver on the emergency intercom. I tried to convince other people to stay on the train with me. "We don't have to get off the train. Where's he going to go?" The problem is with the third car not us. I couldn't convince anyone to stay with me. They all got off like a heard of sheep. I stayed on and hid under the seats, because the last time I refused to get off, some Metro guy came down through each car and spotted me. No one did this time, and the train continued on to the next station the doors opened, and the people there walked into the empty train. The operator made no special announcemen, the doors all close, and we continued on without any difficulties. I was almost on time for the first meeting of day for my new detail job at the EPA.
Not doing what others do can be good, when you find a road that no one else knows about. But it can also lead to problems. Maybe there's a good reason other people aren't doing it that way. The best advice I can give is to think of the reasons on both sides, and make your own decision.
There's a little bad in all boys, and in all girls, too. You can be bad sometimes without being bad all the time. Sometimes you'll do something bad just for the thrill, just to see what it feels like, because you got emotional and wished you hadn't. No, I'm talking about kids, usually boys, that are bad most of the time. In poor neigborhoods, bad boys join gangs, deal drugs, steal, and sometimes kill. Although bad girls join gangs too, and fight and steal, they rarely deal drugs and kill.
You'll know the bad boys easily. They hang together, wear similar clothes, and cut class. Keep your eyes open, you'll know.
The bad boys that are most dangerous, though, work undercover. They'll make you think you're special. They'll make you think they're your friends. But then they'll use this to get you to do things for them, that you wouldn't do for someone you didn't know. Steal for them, cheat for them, lie for them. If you're a girl, bad boys will tell you that they love you and will convince you to do more than kiss them. And even though they promised they would love you forever, after they get what they want from you, they'll leave you, laugh at you, and tell all your friends what you two did together. And now the whole school will laugh at you, and your real friends will be embarassed to be seen with you. Is Sex Bad?
Home Last update: June 20, 2008