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When guys talk with each other, you may think they're talking baseball. But they're not. "Did you get to first base?" is another way of asking if he kissed the girl. (What do you think a "home run" means?) But that scoring system doesn't work so well any more, and guys are usually a lot more explicit about what they've done. You can bet that if you do more than kiss a boy, he'll let all his friends know what his batting average is. So, if you'd be ashamed if other people knew what you two did together, don't do it..
If you're not sure, don't do it. You'll know you're ready only when you are (1) alone in your own room and you can say, "Yes, I'm ready" and "I won't be ashamed if other people know I did it with him." (2) You're ready if you can walk into a pharmacy and purchase a box of condoms. In fact, that's a good test for yourself. If you aren't willing to do that, then you're not ready for sex.
Also, make sure your first experience -- and all your experiences -- are with someone you love, so even if you don't marry them, you will always have wonderful memories. If he's a good person, you can stay friends forever, even if you break up. My first time was with my fiance' Angela, I was 28 she was 21. She is now married, and we still talk.
The first person you have sex with probably won't be the one you marry, and that means you'll eventually split up and lose the man who you thought was the love of your life. That's what happened to me. No, I don't mean the love of my life was a man, silly!
Having sex means you're taking a risk. Remember you can get a disease if any part between his legs touches you. Petting is reasonably safe, but it often leads to something more, which isn't so safe, so don't put yourself in that situation, until you're ready. And if you touch him under his clothes, or you let him touch you, don't touch yourself afterward. Wash your hands first.
So why all this caution and all these warnings? Because having sex with the wrong man (or woman) can kill you. Remember, AIDS is a four letter word. And then there's syphillis ghonorea, crabs, and herpes, pelvic inflammatory disease, and several others. Women have more to loose than the men. Untreated STD's can cause you to become infertile. And a woman may get them without any sign of infection. So be careful and be prepared.
Wrong Reasons for Sex
Disease, Pregnancy, and Heartbreak
If you don't use a condom, then you're not ready for sex. What's a condom good for? Two equally important reasons: (1) it reduces your chance of getting pregnant, and (2) it reduces your chance of getting a disease. But it won't reduce your chance of heartbreak.
Who's a Virgin?
Being a virgin won't protect you from getting a disease, so don't play the word game. Technically you're still a virgin if he puts it up your a _ _. And you're still a virgin if you suck his d _ _ _, but not really. It's still sex, and you could catch something, including AIDS, so don't pretend it's not sex. It is.
Alternatives to Sex
So what if you have those ummm... urges, you know, but aren't ready for sex? The simple answer is learn how to please yourself. It's fun. It's enjoyable. It's free. It doesn't take long. And it's safe. One other plus, if you learn how to please yourself, when you are ready for sex, you can show him how to please you. He'll appreciate you telling him.
In Summary
Sex is wonderful with the right person at the right time. Don't be ashamed. It's a special natural way for men and women to bond with each other.
Last updated: July 30, 2006
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