Living with us means living with our guidelines, or negotiating for change. We want to provide you with the structure and security you need to grow into a responsible woman. If you don't understand the reason for a rule, just ask. None of the rules are arbitrary, capricious, or made just to show you who's boss.
My parents gave me very few rules to follow, but I was a very boring teenager who didn't test the limits, didn't date much, didn't drink at all, and loved to bicycle, hike, read books and work on the computer. Your mother and her sisters had a lot of rules, even though they were probably as responsible and boring as me. The result was one sister getting pregnant early, and another who ran away from home and married a man 20 years older.
We'd like to give you enough freedom so that you can learn and grow, so the more responsibly you behave, the more we'll trust you and the more freedom you'll have.
Homework & TVWe expect a lot from you, because we know you are capable and intelligent, and we don't want to see your potential wasted.
One hour of television each night is enough. Remember, everything in life is a balance. On the weekends, you can watch two hours each night. So one week is 9 hours of TV.
We expect at least two hours a night on homework. After homework is finished, TV, reading, phone, computer, you are free to decide how you spend your time.
ChoresIf you want a bed to sleep in and food to eat, you'll have to work for it. As a family, we all have responsibilities. Mom does the housework, dad pretends to think deep thoughts about life, the universe and everything, and you do the little things - think Cinderella.
Chore List by Age
CurfewDepending on your age and level of responsibility, these will not hard and fast rules. Good judgement is the goal. One advantage of a curfew is it allows you to blame your parents for having to leave a party early. This will be especially useful if you're looking for an excuse to get away. (Lots of parties are like that).
Junior High - back before dark, unless you are at a friends house with their parents at home.
High School - School Nights: 10:00 pm Weeknights: 11:00 pm
With priveleges come responsibility.
CosmeticsMom doesn't use any, and I've always been attracted to women that go for the natural look. Unless you go overboard, you're free to experiment with the look you want.
Clothing AllowanceAt the beginning of the school year, we'll give you a clothing allowance. How you spend the money will be up to you. You want some $100 designer jeans? Go for it. But remember, you can buy more items if you choose less expensive brands, or go to a used store and be able to fill your whole closet with clothes. Your choice.
We do have some limits though. (1) No clothing that makes you look like a 'ho' (2) If you wouldn't want your boyfriend to see your mother wearing clothes like that, then you can't wear it either.
Tattoos, Piercings & HairNo, we won't let you get a tattoo or multiple body piercings, so don't even ask. Why? Because we want to protect you from making a decision you'll regret later. How do we know you'll regret it later? Well, how often do you change your mind? You can't answer "never," can you? Since, a tattoo is difficult and expensive to erase, you should think carefully about your reason for wanting one, and imagine how you'd feel to see it on your body for the rest of your life.
Still don't think we should tell you what you can do with your body? Remember, when you move out and start college, you're considered an adult -- except for drinking -- and will be able to make these choices for yourself.
Piercings? Cne for each ear. You don't need any more holes in your head than that.
But as long as it's not a permanent change, feel free to experiment. Green hair? No problem. Spike hair cut? It will grow back. Have fun!
DrivingFor the first six months, no driving friends or at night. See Driving for more guidance.
Talking on the Phone
Using the computer
Home Last updated: May 3, 2008