Humor-Short Books by Conservatives

Short Books by Conservative Talk Show Hosts:

"How to Stay Off Drugs" by Rush Limbaugh
"How to Marry Someone Your Own Age" by Larry King

Short Books by Republicans:

"How to Fight Your Gambling Addiction" by Bill Bennett
"How to Run an Ethical Presidential Campaign" by Lee Atwater
"How to Resist Special Interest Groups with Lots of Money" by Karl Rove

Short Books by Current Republican Politicians & Justices:

"How to Stay Married" by Rudy Guiliani and Newt Gingrich
"How to Go the The Bathroom without Attracting Another Man" by Larry Craig
"How to Solicit a Prostitute and Remain Faithful to Your Wife" by David Vitter
"How I Made it to the Supreme Court without Affirmative Action and Quotas" by Clarence Thomas
"How I keep my Personal Religious Beliefs Out of Supreme Court Decisions" By Antonin Scalia

Short Books by Members of George Bush's Administration:

"How to Protect the Environment" by Dick Cheney
"How to Move the U.S. Toward Renewable Energy" by Dick Cheney
"Planning for the Occupation of Iraq" by Donald Rumsfield
"How to Protect U.S. Troops from Roadside Bombs" by Donald Rumsfield
"How to Protect the Identity of Undercover CIA Agents" by Lewis Libby, Forward by Dick Cheney

Short Books by George Bush:

"How to Reduce the Size of the Federal Government"
"How to Capture Osama bin Laden"
"How to Stay Focused on Fighting the War in Afghanistan"
"How to Fight Global Warming"
"How to Reduce Taxes on the Poor"
"How to Limit Tax Breaks for the Wealthiest Americans"
"How to Stop North Korea from Building Nuclear Weapons"
"How to Protect U.S. Ports"
"Bring 'em On: The President's Guide to Fighting Terrorism"
"Connections: The Link Between Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein"
"Keeping Foreign Terrorists Out of Iraq"
"Correct Verb Conjugations for Our Childrens"

Short Books by Ronald Reagan:

"How to Reduce the Federal Deficit" (with a recent update by George Bush)

Short Books by Religious Leaders:

"How to be a Heterosexual Evangelical Leader" by Reverend Ted Haggard
"How to Use Church Money to Honor God" by Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker
"How to Resist the Temptation to Sin" by Jimmy Swaggart
"How to Honor the 1st Amendment" by Jerry Falwell with a forward by Karl Rove & George Bush
"How to Remain Sane when Interpreting the Bible" by Pat Robertson
"How to Prophesize without Sounding Like a Lunatic" by Pat Robertson
An edited collection of very short stories:

"Serving Our Country; Battles of the Chickenhawks in Vietnam" by Dick Cheney, George Bush, Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich, Rush Limbaugh, Pat Buchanan, Phil Gramm, Clarence Thomas, Bill O'Reilly, William Kristol, and George Will

And two more short books by George Bush:

Teaching the Value of Life, Vol. 1: The Use of the Death Penalty
Teaching the Value of Life, Vol. 2: Limiting Stem-Cell Research

Finally, by Donald Rumsfield:

Teaching the Value of Life, Vol. 3: Collateral Damage in Iraq